Untitled (Jacuzzi)
Untitled (Jacuzzi)
By ~ANONYMITY~
Trickle...
Ripples along my aching feet and eager fingers. Mind a-dreaming and expectant thumbs.
Through the blur, I retrace her contour, as a snapshot stolen from time nearly an hour ago. I still have the picture of her in my mind: an angel beyond beauty standing amidst paradise. Her blonde hair clothing her naked back. Radiant light illuminating her rosy cheeks, bridging nose and pinkish crimson lips. And her eyes! Her lovely bluish eyes! The lovely eyes of Aphrodite, the one pair of eyes that made me fall for her. I could hear her laughter from afar and taste her sweet smile. Everything was perfect.
Everything perfect and beyond. Everything, save the ugly freak standing next to her.
“So does the devil make all the difference.”
She didn't say a word when I passed her by. A ‘hi’ and not even a smile in return. I felt stupid and blushed with embarrassment, talking to an invisible friend. I was going to ask her out for a date, but she was dead-busy listening to the lies being said by the no-good git.
I understood her. Besides, there was really no need to fear: I knew she also loved me. And we’ve been on for more than three months. I understood her without even having to think, for I loved her.
One last attempt. I winked at her. She smiled back, just enough to remind me of my existence.
Even from this distance, I could still feel her touch. My muse was near, even from afar. She robbed me off my mind, she taught me how to love without needing to think. She was the girl of my dreams made real.
And even now, I could touch her hair by my fingertips—
\\1 message received\\
My fingers ran across the keys on my cellphone in excitement. I knew my day was going to get better once I saw her name in my inbox. My feet felt cold while the chilly waters lapped on them.
\\hey, carlo! howre ya doin? sorry we hadnt time for a chat. what was it you were saying anyway?...\\
My thumbs ran wild with enthusiasm.
\\i thought we could spend some time together—\\
And I thought twice. It would have been more romantic if I asked her out personally.
“What better time than tomorrow,” I thought.
\\— grab a bucket of popcorn and watch a movie or two. how about this friday?\\
I sent her the message. I can see it already: romantic Friday night with all the stars in the sky whispering at each other, “Oh, look at them. How sweet...”
\\friday?... sorry, i cant. someone already invited me out to dinner\\
My eyes bulged in bewilderment.
‘Someone...’ the nerve of him! That bastard just asked my girl out! I can’t believe it.
The cold deadening my nerves, paralyzing warmth and my heart. Emotionless, speechless, mindless... I didn’t seem to notice it but I was pretty sure time passed by as I stared back on the screen for what seemed like eternity.
I snapped out of it as my phone beeped once again.
Same message. She was assuming I didn’t get to read the previous one.
\\i know this might sound pretty stupid. but do you have feelings for—\\ I paused in thought\\— him?...\\
\\message sent\\
I waited deliberately. A chill went up my spine. I didn’t notice the faucet was still on.
“No wonder the water’s so cold.”
\\youre jealous...\\
\\why shouldnt i be? im your boyfriend. its us, not you and him. i have the right to feel this way, dont i?\\
\\do you? i mean, its been 3 months but nothings been happening.\\
\\somethings been happening. my love for you grows with the passing of each day. i love you beyond words or actions befit, i love you singly...\\
\\i understand that you do love me. but that ends there. i dont want you to get hurt but i... forget it.\\
\\forget what? why? tell me. i wish to know...\\
There was a slight delay in her reply. Then my phone suddenly beeped.
\\low battery\\
Good thing there was an outlet somewhere near the tub. I plugged the charger in and waited for her reply, as I watched the battery sign scroll.
\\i dont know why ive been looking for a better guy than you. maybe coz something got lost somewhere.\\
“Something,” I muttered.
I knew that ‘something’ was love. It was unimaginable that I loved her less than before. Or is it possible that she had lost her love for me? What did she mean? What was it she wanted to happen?...
It struck me suddenly. No, I never wanted to break up with her. But was it what she wanted, a break? Space?
\\what do you mean?\\
I melted like ice cream as I read:
\\i need to breathe again. i need some space...\\
A million questions feasted upon my mind. Didn’t she love me anymore? Was there something wrong I’ve done? Is there anything I can do to make up? Was she even serious about breaking it up?
And I keyed in whatever came into mind.
\\why?—\\
Yes, why? Above all questions I wanted to be answered was this ‘why?’
\\— you want to break up?—\\
I thought again. Kind of rhetoric, but I really desired to ask her:
\\— do you still love me?\\
I feared the answer, whatever it might be.
I waited and waited. I thought.
The despairing and hard blows from such dreaming expectations. I was being eaten away by the sea of water engulfing me. Water to quench my thirst for love. I needed this bodily draught badly, this life after life after life after life. It drowns the pain and lamenting of a broken heart.
Much to be thanked for; all for a cost.
Still I waited, thinking to myself.
The cold water running past strands of hair, rushing against my face, cleansing the tears away into droplets of spent emotions.
I waited, emotionless, speechless, mindless, and now, heartless.
It was getting late, still I waited. I wanted to hear it from her. My eyelids were starting to fall now, as I was slowly falling out of love. I waited until it was so late that I became very sleepy with such a heavy heart; so sleepy that I forgot to unplug the charger and keep the phone away from the tub.
And I never got the answers. I never got to read her reply.
By ~ANONYMITY~
Trickle...
Ripples along my aching feet and eager fingers. Mind a-dreaming and expectant thumbs.
Through the blur, I retrace her contour, as a snapshot stolen from time nearly an hour ago. I still have the picture of her in my mind: an angel beyond beauty standing amidst paradise. Her blonde hair clothing her naked back. Radiant light illuminating her rosy cheeks, bridging nose and pinkish crimson lips. And her eyes! Her lovely bluish eyes! The lovely eyes of Aphrodite, the one pair of eyes that made me fall for her. I could hear her laughter from afar and taste her sweet smile. Everything was perfect.
Everything perfect and beyond. Everything, save the ugly freak standing next to her.
“So does the devil make all the difference.”
She didn't say a word when I passed her by. A ‘hi’ and not even a smile in return. I felt stupid and blushed with embarrassment, talking to an invisible friend. I was going to ask her out for a date, but she was dead-busy listening to the lies being said by the no-good git.
I understood her. Besides, there was really no need to fear: I knew she also loved me. And we’ve been on for more than three months. I understood her without even having to think, for I loved her.
One last attempt. I winked at her. She smiled back, just enough to remind me of my existence.
Even from this distance, I could still feel her touch. My muse was near, even from afar. She robbed me off my mind, she taught me how to love without needing to think. She was the girl of my dreams made real.
And even now, I could touch her hair by my fingertips—
\\1 message received\\
My fingers ran across the keys on my cellphone in excitement. I knew my day was going to get better once I saw her name in my inbox. My feet felt cold while the chilly waters lapped on them.
\\hey, carlo! howre ya doin? sorry we hadnt time for a chat. what was it you were saying anyway?...\\
My thumbs ran wild with enthusiasm.
\\i thought we could spend some time together—\\
And I thought twice. It would have been more romantic if I asked her out personally.
“What better time than tomorrow,” I thought.
\\— grab a bucket of popcorn and watch a movie or two. how about this friday?\\
I sent her the message. I can see it already: romantic Friday night with all the stars in the sky whispering at each other, “Oh, look at them. How sweet...”
\\friday?... sorry, i cant. someone already invited me out to dinner\\
My eyes bulged in bewilderment.
‘Someone...’ the nerve of him! That bastard just asked my girl out! I can’t believe it.
The cold deadening my nerves, paralyzing warmth and my heart. Emotionless, speechless, mindless... I didn’t seem to notice it but I was pretty sure time passed by as I stared back on the screen for what seemed like eternity.
I snapped out of it as my phone beeped once again.
Same message. She was assuming I didn’t get to read the previous one.
\\i know this might sound pretty stupid. but do you have feelings for—\\ I paused in thought\\— him?...\\
\\message sent\\
I waited deliberately. A chill went up my spine. I didn’t notice the faucet was still on.
“No wonder the water’s so cold.”
\\youre jealous...\\
\\why shouldnt i be? im your boyfriend. its us, not you and him. i have the right to feel this way, dont i?\\
\\do you? i mean, its been 3 months but nothings been happening.\\
\\somethings been happening. my love for you grows with the passing of each day. i love you beyond words or actions befit, i love you singly...\\
\\i understand that you do love me. but that ends there. i dont want you to get hurt but i... forget it.\\
\\forget what? why? tell me. i wish to know...\\
There was a slight delay in her reply. Then my phone suddenly beeped.
\\low battery\\
Good thing there was an outlet somewhere near the tub. I plugged the charger in and waited for her reply, as I watched the battery sign scroll.
\\i dont know why ive been looking for a better guy than you. maybe coz something got lost somewhere.\\
“Something,” I muttered.
I knew that ‘something’ was love. It was unimaginable that I loved her less than before. Or is it possible that she had lost her love for me? What did she mean? What was it she wanted to happen?...
It struck me suddenly. No, I never wanted to break up with her. But was it what she wanted, a break? Space?
\\what do you mean?\\
I melted like ice cream as I read:
\\i need to breathe again. i need some space...\\
A million questions feasted upon my mind. Didn’t she love me anymore? Was there something wrong I’ve done? Is there anything I can do to make up? Was she even serious about breaking it up?
And I keyed in whatever came into mind.
\\why?—\\
Yes, why? Above all questions I wanted to be answered was this ‘why?’
\\— you want to break up?—\\
I thought again. Kind of rhetoric, but I really desired to ask her:
\\— do you still love me?\\
I feared the answer, whatever it might be.
I waited and waited. I thought.
The despairing and hard blows from such dreaming expectations. I was being eaten away by the sea of water engulfing me. Water to quench my thirst for love. I needed this bodily draught badly, this life after life after life after life. It drowns the pain and lamenting of a broken heart.
Much to be thanked for; all for a cost.
Still I waited, thinking to myself.
The cold water running past strands of hair, rushing against my face, cleansing the tears away into droplets of spent emotions.
I waited, emotionless, speechless, mindless, and now, heartless.
It was getting late, still I waited. I wanted to hear it from her. My eyelids were starting to fall now, as I was slowly falling out of love. I waited until it was so late that I became very sleepy with such a heavy heart; so sleepy that I forgot to unplug the charger and keep the phone away from the tub.
And I never got the answers. I never got to read her reply.
